i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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