I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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