Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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