Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
kristin has been a bad kristin
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
