I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
