Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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