Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
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don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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