My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
