life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
