her vagine was all disorganized.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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