I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Drunk is not a location!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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