The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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