It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
