Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize