The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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