splinters make it hard to masturbate
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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