I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
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I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
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The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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