What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
