i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
