ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize