i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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