We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
