omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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