I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I love having hate sex.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
