in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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