We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You ruined the universe
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot†doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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