Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just cut my nipple shaving
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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