i permit you to call me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
