best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
