Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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