just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
