I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
