i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
