sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
