Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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