Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
worst night to have a conscience
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
