it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
