I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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