based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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