It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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