I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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