to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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