Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
