I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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