The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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