im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
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It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
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I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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