ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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