you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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