Whod you bang
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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