and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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