Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
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There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
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Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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