Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
