Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
