yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
